Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
