She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
