is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
