I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
bring money and cleavage
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
