He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
