she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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