about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
