It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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