he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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