I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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