He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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