The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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