Jerry, you need to find god
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
