so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
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i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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