I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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