There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
