Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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