I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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