thus making me awesome and them whores
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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