i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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