Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
