super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
