if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
