are you still at the devil's house?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
