Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
