Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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