If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
