I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I've blown a few things in my day
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
