I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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