rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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