I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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