he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
