how can u be prego again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
