okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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