when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
