I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
