you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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