Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
