Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
