areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
