wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
false alarm, still single
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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