The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
