your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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