whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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