You really coming over, don't trick.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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