someone threw a dead crab at me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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