took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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