I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
