I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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