if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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