is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
