we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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