I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
