Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Watching her eat just hurts me
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
