My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have post one night stand depression
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