while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
