what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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