I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
