I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
