there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
