why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
