no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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