I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize