Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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